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Lawyer Speak: How to Say a Lot Without Saying Anything

Got this email from Blockbuster Express since I have rented movies from the kiosk …

Dear Valued Customer,
As of June 23, 2012, Redbox has purchased the kiosks operated by NCR Corporation under the Blockbuster Express brand. The Blockbuster Express brand is sublicensed by Redbox from NCR Corporation, which is licensed by the BB 2009 Trust. NCR Corporation and Redbox are not affiliated with Blockbuster L.L.C.

Ten Takeaways I Got From This Note:

10) Surrealist Poetry is beautiful.

09) Run for your lives. Soviet sleeper agents have been activated!

08) In every 7th movie you rent, there is a subpeona!

07) From the Old Testament to Shakespeare to this …

06) Wouldn’t it be simplier to just write UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A?

05) I think Redbox has purchased the rights to sub-license the Redbox name to Redbox LLC but not Redbox, Inc. DBA as Redbox. And Vice Versa – aka: The Corporate palindrome.

04) Finally the real lyrics to “Louie, Louie.”

03) Google Translate, my A**.

02) Never ask a lawyer for an introduction.

01) Our love is forever except where it’s not and subject to these addendums, here, here and here …

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1 July 2012 Internet 4 Comments


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