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Pirate Contest for Pirate CARS Goods …

Arrrr Metty!

Pirates arrrr known for flaunting the law here and there, and smuggling in contraband whenever they can.  So I thought that I wood help me fellow collectors in them there United States.  I here tell that ye lawmakers are afraid that ye youngins will eat the plastic egg inside the chocolate one of a Kinder Surprise.  Well, I knows me Carsoholic mateys better than that.  At first I thought that this was just a tall tale, but when I learnt it be true, me blood boiled.
Let me send the winner of me contest 6 Kinder Surprise Eggs, smuggled in under the noses of ye lawmakers, but only if ye promise to swallow em whole and plug ye carborator!
And just cuz I am a nice Pirate, the runner up will get 4 for their kin too!
Just tell me and the PirateKids what Mater Tall Tale ye wood like to see made into a short….
PirateSon and PiratePrincess will chose their 5 favorites each and then we will randomly choose 2 from that list.  The more description and characters told, the better idea I we will get of the Tall Tale!  make us laff, make us cry, make us send you those Fabergé Kinder Eggs!

The Kinder Surprises boast that only only 1 in 3 have Cars 2 minis in them, so no whining if ye don;t get them, I don’t have X ray chocolate vision in my good eye!!!  Also, if the chocolate melts before it gets to ye, just rub in on your favorite car, we are all friends here, no judgements!

Thanks PirateDad & PirateKinder!

You may enter once every 12 hours in the comments below – contest starts right now and ends Friday 11:59:59 June 10, 2011.

Please do not eat the plastic capsule if you are the winner.


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  • PirateDad says:

    Thanks to everyone who entered!!!!

    We had a hectic weekend here, but we will make our decision tonight and let Met know the two winners…


  • Elton Lin says:

    Contest Entry

    the logical mater

    Mater and Mcqueen are watching an army disarm a bomb

    Mater says he used to do that

    Flashback to a smart Mater with a sane Professor Z

    They are both creating missiles.

    Mater stops making missiles to promote world peace.

    Z continues making bombs. Z is fired for promoting firearms, and is kicked into a junkyard, where he becomes unloved.

    “Mater,I believe that Z turned evil, but you were a proffesor?”

    “Yeah mcqueen. You got promoted for supporting me.”
    A rich Mcqueen awaits

  • John in Missouri says:


    Mater, Director of Mattel Product Distribution

    Mater is enjoying a snack at Flo’s V8 Cafe when Lightning pulls in…

    Lightning: “Hey Mater, where is everyone?”

    Mater: “They’re all busy assisting me with my job.”

    Lightning: “Job? What job?”

    Mater: “Shoot Lightning, I’m the Director of Mattel Product Distribution.”

    Lightning: “Mater, how did YOU get that job, and how’d you get everyone to help you?”

    Mater: “Well I was visiting a big convention one day and…”

    The scene changes to the San Diego Comic Convention in the Summer of 2005. Mater is attending and is in line to buy something, and overhears a couple of attendees talking to one another.

    Mattel VP #1: “I just don’t know how we’re ever going to launch this new line next Spring. The logistics are impossible and the networks are skewed to the Big Box stores.”

    Mattel VP #2: “What we need is someone who knows the product, knows the customer, and knows everything there is to know about transportation.”

    Mater jumps in: “Shoot, I knows about all three of those, I’m your guy!”

    The two Mattel VP’s look at each other, and then simultaneously say, “You’re hired!!!”

    It is now the Fall of 2005, and Mater is humming along filling all the orders by himself. By the next Spring, everything has launched and all is well with this new line of toys. Customers are happy, retailers are happy, and everyone at Mattel is happy. Sensing continued success of the line, Mattel decides to pursue several more years of production, and tells Mater they’re going to increase production during each subsequent year.

    Mattel VP #1: “Mater can you handle the increased production year after year?”

    Mater: “You bet I can!”

    Mattel VP #2: “Winning!!”

    But once Mater is back home, he quickly realizes how difficult this will be, and things begin to go out of control with the introductiion of each new product extension. So he calls his friends together for one big final push…

    Mater: “Sarge, I need you to handle the Target distribution. This Final Lap line will be ‘the bomb’!” Quick segue to Sarge using thousands of cases of never-to-be-seen Final Laps as TARGET practice on his large munitions range.

    Mater: “Fillmore, I need you to get this special case to every retailer in the world. It will mean a lot to us here in town, and of course to our customers too.” Quick segue to Fillmore assembling an addition to his tent by sewing together thousands of packages of Wrecked Hudson Hornet.

    Mater: “Ramone, I’d like you to get these Haulers out as soon as possible. These cases contain ALL remaining Haulers that will help our customers complete their collections. Quick seque to Ramone accidentally applying the shipping labels backwards, and we segue again to Yeti the Abominable Snowplow scratching his head in confusion as he stacks up all the misrouted cases to make a new igloo for himself.

    Mater: “Lizzie, I want you to send all these Chief & Pitty sets to the Big Three retailers. Like the Haulers, these will complete our customers’ collections.” Quick segue to Lizzie delivering truckload after truckload of Chief & Pitty sets to the condemned headquarters of Venture, Woolco, and Woolworth stores.

    Mater: “Flo, these are extremely important cases. They contain the additional seven racers that were never seen in the movie.” Quick seque to Flo stacking all of them along the fenceline, only to have the tractors chew them all up.

    Mater: “Finally, I have a special assignment just for you Luigi. I want you to travel to Italy and have the finest artisans create 10,000 — no — make that 100,000 Apple iCars.” Quick segue to Luigi dropping off the finished products at the Poste Italiane, the contents never to be seen by anyone ever again.

    Fast forward to the present…

    Lightning is speechless. He looks at Mater for a few moments, and finally says, “You know something Mater… for once I actually believe you.”

    The scene pulls back slowly to reveal all of Radiator Springs, as the credits silently roll.


  • John in Missouri says:


    The Good, The Bad, and Tow Mater

    A few of the Radiator Springs gang are watching some of local cowboy pickup trucks wrangle some tractors that have gotten loose again from the field.

    Mater watches them in action and says, “You know I used to be a tractor wrangler.”

    Lightning rolls his eyes and says “YOU Mater? And I suppose you were the fastest towhook in the West?”

    Mater: “You just took the words right out of my mouth Lightning…”

    We flashback to a dusty, barren Radiator Springs before any roads were paved and early model trucks worked the land.

    All is peaceful and quiet when suddenly a MUCH younger Lizzie screams out, “There’s another tractor loose, hurry someone, please help!!”

    The Spaghetti Western music starts up, and we see Mater slowly come out from his garage, with two doors that swing open like in a saloon.

    Mater: “Ma’am. Did you call for help?”

    Lizzie: “Yes I did, there’s another tractor loose, running around town.”

    Mater: “I’ll take care of that for ya’.” (Mater spits out some oil)

    Mater saunters over toward the tractor and readies his tow cable. Just then, Stanley steps out of the shadows.

    Stanley: “Just a minute there Sheriff, I believe that’s MY tractor.” (Stanley rolls toward the tractor and readies HIS tow cable)

    Mater, closeup on his squinting eyes: “I don’t think I heard you correctly sir.”

    Stanley: “You heard me mister, that there is MY tractor.”

    Mater: “Well, well, well, I think we’re gonna have to draw our tow hooks.”

    Stanley: “You want a challenge? I’ll give you a challenge.”

    Stanley and Mater each drive slowly in separate directions, with the tractor in the middle of the two. Each turns around quickly, causing their tow hooks & cables to form a lasso. Each begins to spin their lassoed tow cables, as we take turns seeing each of their faces in closeups, as well as that of the tractors. The tension builds to a crescendo…

    Lightning: “Mater what happened??? Were you the fastest tow?”

    Mater: “Don’t you remember Lightning, you was there too!”

    We flashback to Old Radiator Springs, and McQueen is driving at breakneck speed next to the McQueen’s Biggest Fan — Albert Hinkey was a Stagecoach back then — who is being pulled by a team of seven tractors, with one slot in the team missing an eighth member.

    Lightning: “There he is Albert, I told you I’d help you find your lost tractor!”

    McQueen’s Biggest Fan: “Thank you again kind stranger, I don’t know how I can ever begin to thank you!”

    They pull into town, and Albert Hinkey takes possession of his missing tractor. Lizzie speeds over to make sure her Stanley is OK, while Mater, Lightning, and Albert Hinkey all ride off into the sunset.


  • quercy says:



    Mater and McQueen were trying to fix the coo-coo clock from Sally’s Cozy cone hotel room. McQueen deseparate to reassemble the clock said: How a so small robot can have so part parts? Mater add: that’s nothing compare to how many parts I used to have when I was a transformer… What??? You were not a transformer Mater! Sure I was who do you think was protecting Radiator Springs from the Banshee??? They were calling me “Optimus Primer”. Common Mater you did not… You don’t remember? You was there too…!!! Switch to the scene in full action of Banshee attacking Radiator Springs. Sarge using is military supply arsena and Mcqueen feeding Sarge with ammo were struggling to stop Banshee when Mater come from behing and said: Don’t overheat your radiators my friends I will take care of him. Then Mater transform in a giant Autobot and quickly grab the Banshee with a telescopic tow car to swing him out of view in the air… Opitums Primer turn around and tel his friends… Piece of gasket! Then multiple Banshee appear charging the city…. McQueen scream….. BANSHEEEES!!!! Optimus shout to McQueen COMMON MCQUEEN TRANSFORM NOW, I NEED BUMBLEE BEEP BEEP! What!??? I cannot transform??? Then Mater hit McQueen spoiler and McQueen transform in a Yellow robot and both start to swing out Banshee after Banshee very easily…. both laughing…. McQueen: Did that not happened. Sarge open the door of the cozy cone and said: Kori Turbowitz is here and want to interview The “TransforMater”… Ohhhhhh Mater tell her how you did kick those Banshee bumpers out of here last time…

  • WillsCars says:

    Contest Entry:

    Professor Mater

    McQueen and Mater drive post Luigi’s and see Luigi teaching Guido English. Mater turns to Lightning and says, “I you know I use to be a Professor at U of Car.” We now see Mater in a class room of cars and he is wearing a cap and gown with tassel and glasses. Mater says “today we going to learn about the theories of Signal Freud.’’ Back at Radiator Springs, Lightning says “Mater you were never a Professor!” Mater replies, “What’a mean, don’t you remember yous was there when we learnt about Jumper therapy!” Back in the class room we see Lightning hook up to Jumper cables and ZZZZZZZzzzap!

  • Fillmore1234 says:

    I don’t really want to win so this is not a contest entry, but I had a good idea and I wanted to pit it up for you to see!
    “Gear Up and Tow!”

    -We find Lightning, Mater, Francesco Bernoulli, Jeff Gorvette, Max Schnell, Carla Veloso, Fillmore, Luigi, Guido, Sally, and Lizzie down at Willys Butte. They are watching Lightning and the other World Grand Prix Racers race around the track.-

    Mater- “Go Lightning!”
    Sally- “Go Stickers!”
    Lizzie- “So this is what you’ve been up to the past 4 years!” 😛

    -Lightning and Francesco are neck and neck, and as they turn the sharp curve, Francesco spins out-

    Lightning- “Ah, that brings back memories!”

    -Back up where the Radiator Springs gang are watching the race, Fillmore notices Mater with a disappointed look on his face.-

    Fillmore- “What’s wrong, man?”
    Mater- “Francesco is doing a terrible job!”
    Sally- “Well, don’t you remember how Stickers spun out on that same turn?”
    Mater- “Yeah, but I was way better than Francesco ever was!”
    Lightning overheard Mater say that as he raced around, so he shouted, “What do you mean? It’s not like you were a Formula One Car!”
    Mater- “Oh but I was! Well here’s the story of Mater-Ino Elmustacio!”

    -Flashback to Porto Corsa, Italy, at Topolino’s Tire Shop. You see Mater-Ino and a younger, shinier Uncle Topolino in the Shop. They are trying on tires for a blue Fiat 500. Mater pops one of the tires and has a depressed look on his face.-

    Uncle Topolino- “What’s the matter, Mater-Ino?”
    Mater-Ino- “Oh I just don’t really like this job. I’ve always wanted to be a Professional Formula One Racer!
    Blue Fiat 500- “I know of a Car who may be able to help you out!”

    -Mater brightens up with a smile while the scene fades. The replaced scene shows two Sportscasters.-

    Reporter 1- “Well this is the most exciting day for race fans! It seems there is a brand new Car that will be competing today!”
    Reporter 2- “Right you are, and nobody knows what he looks like! We’ll have to wait and see!”
    Reporter 1- “And here come the Racers!”

    -Scene changes and many Formula One Racers come out, with Mater-Ino in the back. He has the same body as a normal Formula One, but he still has his Tow Cable, Buck Teeth, and Rear View Mirrors. He is Brown, Red, and Dark Blue colored. Mater-Ino revs his engine and the crowd goes crazy! They love Mater-Ino!-

    Flag Man- “On your Marks, Get Set…… GOOOOO!!!”
    Reporter 2- “Look at them go! And Mater-Ino is zooming through the pack!”
    Reporter 1- “He sure is a sight!”

    -The Cars continue racing, but one Angry Car, Guiseppe Rototini, crashes Mater-Ino. The crowd gasps.-

    -Fastforward to the present, and the race is finished. Lightning McQueen was listening and asked, “What happened next?”-
    Mater- “You should remember, you was there too!”

    -Lightning appears as one of the other Racers. He gasps in shock as Mater-Ino drives backwards, ahead of all the Cars, until he arrives in first! He passes the finish line in record speed!-

    -Back to the present, Lightning and the gang are amazed. But Francesco says, “That did not happen!”-
    Lightning- “I have to agree with Francesco, there’s no way that could have happened!”

    -Luigi and Guido race up to them with Uncle Topolino and a Formula One Car.-

    Uncle Topolino- “Mater did you hear? It’s the 25th Anniversary of your victory win! And guess who came up all the way from Italy to see you? Giuseppe Rototini!”

    Everyone’s mouths drop to the ground, as Mater proclaims, “Told ya!”

    THE END.

  • John in Missouri says:


    Pooper Scooper Mater (The Ballad of Tow Mater)

    While on break from race preparations in Los Angeles, Lightning McQueen, Mater, and the entire #95 Pit Crew are taking a siteseeing tour of Beverly Hills. They go past mansion after mansion, learning the history of some of them. But one in particular has Tractors out in front grazing in the grass! Sarge can’t believe it, and points it out to the gang.

    Mater proudly says, “Well actually, those is MY tractors, and so is that mansion”.

    Lightning looks at Mater and says, “Mater, you have told every tall tale in the book, and each one of them has gotten sillier and sillier, but now you want to tell us that you own THAT mansion???”

    Mater: “That’s what I’m tellin’ ya’.”

    Lightning: “OK Mater, we’re all ears. Tell us how you were able to afford a mansion.”

    Mater: “Well I was workin’ as a pooper scooper in the tractor fields of Radiator Springs, and one day…”

    Just then the tour operator turns around — his license plate reads BUD LUCKEY — and begins to sing as we flashback in time to a Black & White scene…

    Come ‘n listen to my story ’bout a truck named Mater,
    A poor Chevrolet, barely kept his tractors catered,
    And then one day, he was scoopin’ up some poop,
    And up through the ground come a bubblin’ crude,
    Oil, that is, black gold, Texas Tea Hummer food….

    Lightning: “Wait a minute!…”

    { We hear the sound of a needle screeching across a record }

    Lightning: “Mater, are you tellin’ me that you discovered oil???”

    Bud Luckey continues singing, as we flashback to the Black & White scene again…

    Well, the first thing you know, old Mater’s a millionaire,
    Townsfolk said, Mater, move away from there,
    They said Californy is the place you oughta be,
    So he loaded up his gear and he moved to Beverly,
    Hills, that is, swimmin’ pools, movie stars….

    Lightning: “Wait another minute, PLEASE!!!”

    {We again here the sound of a needle screeching across a record }

    Lightning: “Mater, are we supposed to believe that you discovered oil, became a millionaire, and bought a mansion in Beverly Hills?”

    Mater: “You got it buddy.”

    Lightning: “So why did you ever move back to Radiator Springs?”

    Mater: “Well I missed my life in Radiator Springs, so I moved to where I call home. But I still kept the mansion.”

    The property gates open, and they proceed to drive up the long driveway to the mansion’s front door

    Lightning: “So who lives here now?”

    Mater: “Well you should know, you live here too Lightning. …or should I say Jethro?”

    Lightning: “Huh???”

    The mansion’s front doors open, and out come Lizzie (as Granny), Mia & Tia (as Ellie & Mae), Tex Dinoco (as Mr. Drysdale), and Mrs. the King (as Miss Hathaway), all with big smiles and waving their tires as Bud Luckey breaks into song again…

    Now it’s time to say goodbye to Mater and his friends…

    Mater: “C’mon Jethro, wave to the viewin’ audience!”

    They would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin’ in…

    Lightning: “Audience? What audience?”

    You’re all invited back again to this locality…

    Lightning: “Why are we waving?”

    To have a heapin’ helpin’ of their hospitality…

    Lightning, looking dejected and slightly waving: “Sigh…”

    Cars, that is, set a spell, take your brake shoes off

    Mater, moving front and center: “Y’all come back now, ya’ hear?


  • Stig McQueen says:

    Contest Entry

    “Rustyest Catch”

    Mater goes “carb fishing” on the “Bearing Sea.”

    Mater, Lightning and the gand are eating “carbcakes” at Flo’s. Mater says, “Y’know, I used to work on a carb boat once…”

    Cut to a shot of Mater hauling gear on the deck of the Northwestern as waves crash over the bow. He hauls up a pot with his tow cable, the crew of pitties opens the door and dumps a load of freshly-caught carburetors onto the sorting table…

  • Roswell says:


    how about, mater retells a quick summery of the events of the first Cars film. but with the roles of himself and mcqueen switched.
    (so mater is a fast shiney new racer and mcqueen is a bucktooth rusty truck)
    mcqueen then has enough of maters tall tales and insists he is the racecar and challenges him to a race, mater wins by backwards driving the whole track!

  • John in Missouri says:


    Dude Ranch Mater

    One afternoon, Lightning, Sally, Mater, and Holley take a drive up into the hills over Radiator Springs. During their trip, they pass a fenced-in dirt field with six motorcycles standing around. They stop to watch, and Sally says “What a shame that they have to be cooped up — after all, they used to run free.”

    Mater thought for a moment and said, “You know something Miss Sally, I used to run a Dude Ranch where HUNDREDS of them there motorcycles ran free and far”.

    Sally: “You did? That sounds so wonderful Mater.”

    Lightning: “Mater you didn’t run a Dude Ranch.”

    Mater: “Oh I did, Lightning, and it was as beautiful as you could ever imagine, the land stretchin’ out as far as you could see…”

    Flashback to a country scene with thousands of acres of untouched land. Dozens upon dozens of motorcycles can be seen roaming the hills as the song “Born To Be Wild” plays. There is a large building with several tow trucks working, including their boss Mater.

    “Yep, I ran the whole show. Lots of dudes there working at the Dude Ranch…”

    Mater: “Howdy Dude.”

    Tow Truck #1: “Dude.”

    Mater: “Mornin’ Dude.”

    Tow Truck #2: “Dude.”

    Mater: “Hey Dude”.

    Tow Truck #3: “Dude.”

    Mater: “Good to see ya’ Dude.”

    Tow Truck #4: “Dude.”

    “…Every morning we’d let the motorcycles roam the valleys and the hills, and every evening we’d get ’em back to the ranch.”

    Mater (whipping his tow hook): “Yahh!! Yahh!!”

    Various Tow Trucks (whipping their tow hooks): “Yahh!! Yahh!!”

    “Now I’m not gonna lie to you, there was times it wuzn’t so fun, like during the Great Stampede. I thought we was gonna lose some of them for good…”

    Lightning: “The Great Stampede? What did you do Mater?”

    Mater: “Don’t you remember Lightning, you was there.”

    Lightning: “I was???”

    Mater: “Yep, you was one of the Dudes.”

    Flashback to Lightning McQueen with Cowboy Hat facing off with a stampede of motorcycles.

    Lightning: “STAMMMM-PEDE!!! AHHH!!! MATERRRRRRR!!!!”

    Mater: “Use your tow hook Lightning Dude!!”

    Lightning: “Tow hook??? Are you crazy?!?! I don’t HAVE a tow hook!!!”

    As the motorcycle stampede gets even closer, we fastforward back to the present in Radiator Springs

    Lightning: “Mater, what did I do??? I never had a TOW hook!”

    Mater: “Heh heh heh, well you was so scared you just closed yer eyes and revved yer engine, and them motorcycles all just stopped. Lightning, you brought the Great Stampede to an end.”

    Lightning: “You’ve got quite the imagination Mater, but I think even YOU have topped yourself.”

    Mater: “OK, believe what you want, but it happened.”

    Lightning: “I don’t think so Mater.”

    Several tow trucks drive through, all tipping their hats and saying “Dude” to Lightning as they go past.


    • quercy says:

      Okay I give up! You got it John. This is by far the best one. You really make me laugh at loud. My wife could not understand why I must sweep tears of laugh reading T5AD… I could see McQueen’s face concerned because he did not have a tow hook but want to know what happened. really really good. Hope you win with that one. I will definitively print and keep your story 😉

      • bobbyjack says:

        Aw come on. Don’t give up now, you still have 2 days to try and top that one. I’m starting to enjoy the back and forth between you two. Unfortunatly I submitted my story early in the morning before I comprehended who was judging the stories. Thinking Pirate Dad was going to pick them, not PirateSon and PiratePrincess. Next contest, I will read the directions more closely.

        • PirateDad says:

          Nobody should stop now! The kids just like the concept, they don’t care about the detail!!!!

          Hit us with your best ideas, like MaterMan, a superhero by night with a cape and a mask and a mild mannered reporter by day!

        • quercy says:

          Thank bobbyjack to motivate me. I will work on my 2-3 scenarios I have in mind… not trying to beat John but to entertain your kids. 😉 It is not very easy for me. It takes time to write them since I am a french canadien, english subtilities often put me slightly off track from my intent. Translation is not only word for word thing but I bet you got the whole picture of where I am going right?

      • John in Missouri says:

        Thanks Carl! Would you print an extra copy for John Lasseter too? 🙂

        • quercy says:

          I believe this is already the whole concept of that contest…. Lasseter is rubbing his hands right now… He may want to extent the contest since the stories getting better and better. And the beauty is it will cost only few chocolate eggs… 🙂

  • Cuddles says:

    I would love to win that prize.

    Here is my Entry.

  • mcmean says:

    A couple ideas if someone wants to take them and run feel free, I just don’t have the time to due them any justice and compete with some of the other excellent entries.

    Trial lawyer mater (Pulling from the OJ Simpson trial would be pretty funny)

    Pitchmen Mater (Billy Mays style)

    Sports Agent Mater

    Politician Mater (Mater ran for President or other high office position)

    Supermodel Mater (Mater used to be on magazine covers)

  • quercy says:


    Backfire to the Future.

    The Radiator Spring Gang are watching The movie “Backfire to the future” with one of their favorite actor DMC-12 when Mater mention he used to travel in time too. NO WAY they all said! YES WAY Mater replies… One daaaaaay I was working on my shed when I fall and bang my carburator on the toilet bowl… I got an idea to build the Flux Carpacitor. Mater stole plutonium from terrorist to fuel is modified stainless steel body. On his way to activate the reactor, the terrorist arrive. (Fillmore with weapon). Mater escape just in time but didn’t noticed he as actived the timer to 1909. When Mater reach 88 miles and hour he desappear and end up in a barn in Radiator Springs. The noise wake up the young couple Lizzie and Stanley. Stanley see a bright light in the barn and he is scared to death thinking it is the ghost light. McQueen said… Mater! You did not went in past. Sure I did many times and you were there too! McQueen and Mater are now in 1955. A huge Imperial Newport called “Bif” is knocking Mater’s Head and shout “Hey Matty is there some bolts and nuts in there??? McQueen grab Mater by the tow cable. Burn his tired sending dust in Bif’s windshiled and his friends and escape with Mater. Using his hook Mater throw it on the electric cable attached to the clock tower Doc Hudson Brown has set up hoping the “lightning” will hit at the right time… Then ZAAAAP! Our two friends vanished… McQueen look Mater and said… There is no way you travel trough time…. Suddenly Lizzie stop in Front in Mater and said… Oh! You look like a gentlecar I meet long time ago called Matty… mater smile and replies… I said sooooooo. 🙂

  • PirateDad says:

    NO entries since 9 am this morning?? Has everyone run out of ideas for poor old Mater?

    Here is one to get the ball rolling (ooopppsss bad pun)

    Mater the Mohel

    Mater wearing a yamuka enters the garage (nursery) of a newly built boy car… he goes into his Dr. bag and produces the carcumcision tool… he reaches under the hood and the new born car exclaims, DAD GUM!!!!

  • John in Missouri says:


    Super Bowl Mater

    Some of the Radiator Springs gang are gathered out by the fields watching the Tractors roam around. One of the Tractors is chewing a tire, but it apparently doesn’t taste too good, so it flings it away, only to have another Tractor catch it in HIS mouth. Fillmore says “Am I just seeing things, or are those Tractors playin’ Tireball?”.

    Mater hears this and says, “You know I used to play for one of them perfessional Tireball teams”.

    Lightning looks at Mater and says, “YOU were? I don’t think so Mater!”, to which Mater replies, “Yep, I played alongside the likes of Walter Payload, Terry Rickshaw, and Jaguar Rice… We was so good that we even made the Super Bowl…”

    Lightning: “Did not.”

    Mater: “Did to.”

    Lightning: “Did not!”

    Mater: “Did to…”

    Flashback to a huge stadium with a cheering crowd, lots of flashing cameras, Dinoco Showgirl Cheerleaders, and Referee Pittys. We see big, buff, helmeted cars and trucks all suited up in uniforms. Meanwhile, over on the bench is Mater the Water Truck, attending to his teammates’ needs.

    “Yep, I was a key to the success of my team, everyone relied on me.”

    Player #1: “Yo Mater, gimme some water. Hurry up, I’m overheatin’!”

    Player #2: “Where’s my shammy? I need my shammy Mater!”

    Player #3: “Mater, get over here and help me practice my kicks!”

    “Coach even put me in the game when our first-string kicker (WHAM!), our second string kicker (BLITZ!), and our third-string kicker (CRUNCH!) all got hurt. The game was tied and it came down to my kick with one second left on the clock…”

    Lightning: “There is NO WAY you were in the Super Bowl!”

    Mater: “Well you should know, you was there too!”

    Lightning: “I was???”

    Mater: “Yep, you was my Placeholder!”

    We flashback again to see Helmet Lightning McQueen in uniform awaiting the final play. The entire defense is breathing down his neck, growling and making threats to what they’ll do to him when he gets the snap.

    Announcer: The tireball is snapped… it goes over McQueen!! And now it’s a free-for-all!!

    Lightning: “AHHH!!! I gotta get that tireball!!”

    Announcer: “There are cars and trucks crashing all over the place! …time has expired, and we still have a live tireball!! …McQueen is still scrambling! …MCQUEEN HAS THE TIREBALL!!!”

    Back to the present in Radiator Springs

    Lightning: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened then, Mater?? Did we win the game??”

    Mater: “I have no idea. They called off the game so they could show a kiddie-car movie called “Audi” on the television. It’s now known as the “Audi Game”.

    Lightning: “What??? No way!”

    A little Audi with pigtails drives through, followed by yodeling Pittys and more Pittys playing alp horns.


    • bobbyjack says:

      I believe we may have a winner here. But you should have only been allowed to enter once, not every 12 hours.

      • quercy says:

        I may request half the price for taking inspiration from my story I posted yesterday. “Mater the Carterback” 😉

        • bobbyjack says:

          Yeah, it was like you gave somebody from Disney your script about these funny little talking cars and they turned it into this blockbuster movie that sold billions of dollars worth of merchandise. You and John should each get 3 eggs.

  • quercy says:



    I used to be a SuperHero…. Mater got bitten by a Spider (The car of course) and got super powers. He was doing web and balancing himself trough New-York buildings with his tow cable. He fought his regular ennemies; Dr. Autopus, The Green Gremlin, The Sanderbird, The Kingpin and Hummerhead. Like usual, McQueen (also having the same spider disguise) get inserted in the story as SpiderMater is in trouble with Dr.Autopus having kidnapped his aunt May ( Lizzie playing the role) SpiderMater shoot oil in Dr.Autopus glasses and Mater tow aunt May from the tentacules and run away with McQueen when suddenly all the ennemies are coming out from nowhere to grab them. A newspaper front page doing competion to the “Daily Buggy” shows our heroes victorious. The story ends with a closeup of J.J.Jeepeson with a big cigar screaming “WHERE IS PETER MATER WHEN I NEED HIM???”

  • Pirate Cheese says:

    Hey PD, I wuz wonderin where I could get a Pirate MAter? It is too cool.

    (MET: Only available at Disney World so far. Our last post on the topic).

  • Pirate Cheese says:


    “Just a country Truck”.

    Mater, Lightning, Sally, Red,… the entire gang are parked comfortably behind Lizzie’s curio shop. The television is turned on and the show starts…
    “It’s time for Highway Idol”!!
    Mater says, “I used to be a big time recording artist once!!!” McQueen says, “No Way! You NEVER did that Mater!”. Mater says, “Did too. I’m just a country truck. You would never guess it by looking at me now, but I was on a trip to the big city when One DAAAYYY!!!!
    Cut to Mater’s empty gas gauge. We hear Mater clearing his throat as the camera pulls back to reveal a scene in near an old bus stop in the Pennsylvania hillside. There is a small crowd gathered around as he begins to sing, oil cans, and full cans of gas begin to be pushed towards him by the onlookers. One of them says, “Hey kid, you oughta take that voice to Television, You could be a big TV star.
    Next scene shows Mater crashing out of the judges’ chambers with a big yellow poster board on his grill, and his trademark toothy grin. Mater yells, “Yahooooooooieeeeeeeeeeee! I made it, I made it! I’m going to LAs Vegas!’
    Next we see pictures of Mater as a young truck doing chores on a country farm while he is telling us a narrative about the good and kind things he has always found to do where ever he has been in his life.
    Cut to a scene of Mater being pampered in a lavish suite by vegas show-cars (girls).
    In the next scene Mater is in a lineup of nervous previously un-seen cars that have to make their appearance on stage.
    Through a quick, timeline progression, we depict Mater surviving the competition as cars are summarily rejected by the “High Fallootin’ Judges” (which is how he addresses them.. “Yes, thank you yer High Fallootin’ Judgeship-ness. Sirs and ladies…tee-hee-hee…)
    Our hero is up on a dark, spotlit stage and there is nothing but silence. He opens his mouth to sing. The narration is Mater saying, “It was down to the last 2 contestants. I had sung every song any car ever heard on their radio. I needed a way to win this that would just knock the audience over. The only Competitor was a New york crooner named Benny Boxster. His pipes had a sound that made all the girl cars swoon. He had sung his last song and everyone was waiting… for me!”
    Lightning says, “So what did you do then?” Mater says, “You oughta know, you was there too…”
    Cut to a scene with Lightning leading a line of tractors to the rear of the stage and down the aisles of the theatre, as Mater is singing his only yet unheard, self written song, “I’m just a country truck”. Lightning and Mater exchange a wink. Cars are swaying to his song but the tractors keep rolling in. Now there are tractors everywhere. Mater decides to really make the song his own. He substitutes his last note for a giant, rafter raising honk of his horn. This of course tips all the tractors over with a wall melting, simultaneous MMMOOOOOOO! The theatre comes crashing down amidst deafening applause and cheers of “MAter! MAter! MAter!…”
    Cut to Mater saying, and thats exactly how We brought the house down and I got that there re-cording contrakt….just like that right there yessireee. Lightning and Mater argue in the customary fashion, until a pair of Vegas show-car (girls) drive slow by with Mater’s famous song playing on the radio, and swaying to the beat the say “Hey Mater” and giggle as Mater drives off with them, Tipping his tow hook and saying Hello Ladies….!

    Methinks a lowly Pirate such as meself hasn’t a chance in any sailors mizzen main to be winning this nice contest… Unless I be close enough to run ye through the same way my dear old grandad Black beard ran the Queene Annes Revenge through more gold than a smelted guinnea. However, tell us what ye think aye?

  • djbennett22 says:

    Contest Entry: Movie Star Mater-
    Mater was once a fancy De-rec-tor and made all kinds of movies. Mqueen was the main charecter in his new film, with leading lady ms.sally in “Titan the titanic” (it is actually a happy ending by the way)

  • Elton says:

    Contest Entry

    S. tar car playerz

    Intro: MCqueen and Mater are watching a heated basketball game. Mcqueen says how could that player miss the hoop one inch away!
    Mater said,”I used to be a basketball player! I played for the Matericks! I kept shooting threes!”

    Mcqueen replies,”You did not Mater!”

    Mater insists,”Was so. You were there too. On the Dang Heats team.”

    There is a flashback with Mcqueen jumping into the air and shooting threes and beating Mater’s team. Finally, it is announced that the Heats win.

    Present time Mcqueen remembers, and says to Mater,”Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you loose that bad.”

    Mater said,”Shoot, that’s ok. Anyways, the Materick fans threw their tires at you.”

    Mater screamed,”Oh no, there’s them Materick fans behind you! Lookee out!”

    Mcqueen looks in multiple directions before realizing he’s been tricked.

    Mater then said,”Here, have my Matericks Umbrella to hide yourself.”

    Mcqueen said,”I don’t want to fall for that trick again.” Mcqueen turns around anyways, and sees a swarm of Materick cars coming toward him. Mcqueen grabs the umbrella as the fans approach.

    The whole Materick swarm of fans chanted,”Where is the Heat car?! Where is the Heat car?!”

    Mater told them that the Heat player went west.

    As the fans cleared out,Mcqueen said,”Thank you for saving me Mater! May the Matericks win this 2011 season!”

  • danrio says:

    In American Motors Graffiti, Mater hires Guido & Luigi with their painting equipment to tag Grem and Acer while they are resting up for their next job, effectively masking their identities. This creates an international incident involving at least 3 countries, Homeland Security, the CIA, Scotland Yard, Interpol and even the Vatican. Dang!

  • John in Missouri says:


    Mater D’

    One day at Flo’s V8 Cafe, Lightning and Mater are enjoying a snack amidst LOTS of customers. Flo looks at how busy her place has become, and jokingly says that she needs to start taking reservations.

    Mater hears this and says, “Reservations? Shoot, I used to be in charge of reservations at one of them fancy Five Star restaurants”.

    Lightning stops mid-drink, looks at Mater and chuckles, “YOU were? No way!”, to which Mater replies, “Yep, I was the Mater d’ at Le Car , one of the finest dining spots this side of the Mitsubishi River…”

    Flashback to a restaurant with Waiter Pittys hustling tables as we slowly zoom toward a tuxedoed Mater on the phone…

    “…Yes Senator, I’ve got you down for a party of four… we’ll see you Thursday… yes sir, thank YOU sir.”

    Mater: “We had all kinds of important dignitaries, from Lincolns to Cadillacs to Mercedes Benzes. And boy did I make a lot of tips. 5W-30, 5W-40, heck, some nights I even got 10W-40 just for getting folks in the door. Those were some good times…”

    Lightning: “There is NO WAY you were Mater d’!”

    Mater: “Well you should know, you was there too!”

    Lightning: “I was???”

    Mater: “Yep, you was the Head Chef!”

    Quick cut to Chef McQueen with flames rising high from several oil pans, and pure pandemonium in the kitchen with Waiter Pittys buzzing in and out…

    “AHHH!!! Help me put this out! And this one! What is THIS? Hey where are you taking that? Why did they return their meal? They wish to speak with me? …MAAAAA-TERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!”

    Lightning: “OK Mater, I believe you. But whatever made you leave that job to come back here?”

    Mater: “I just thought it was time to re-tire…”

    In zooms several Waiter Pittys — led by Guido — to change Mater’s tires…


  • oliversmom says:

    Contest Entry

    Mater – Predator

    Francesco – Alien (illegal alien)

    Mcqueen – Arnold S.

    Arnold:”Mater, you need to build more muscles to catch bad aliens”
    Mater:”hmmm, always thinking I had enough”

    Francesco:” ayayayay”


  • quercy says:


    Mater the Carterback

    I used to be a carterback!… One dayyyyyy… In an spectacular reverse play ( like Mater is so good at) he will do a magic trick using his tow cable with McQueen as the receiver to win the Lombarghini Trophy against the opponent team, the “FortyMilers” and their carterback Joe MontaCarlo. Each “quarter” is sponsered by Dinoco and a very short funny ad show bullfrog cars doing the STUUUD—BAAAA—-KEEER.

  • Eric says:

    Contest Entry:

    Mater the (thick black sharpie through an indiscernible title)

    A stack of newspapers with the caption ‘Impala Bin Laden Taken Out By Navy Seals’ is delivered to Flo’s parking lot. McQueen mentions to Mater what a great group those highly trained Navy Seals must be. “President Buick Obama told me I ain’t supposed to say nuttin’, (whispers) but I led that team of Navy Seals into Packerstan.” “No way!” says McQueen. “Yes way. Shoot you probably don’t remember thanks to cutting edge government technology, but you was there too…” winks Mater. “Hey, I heard they dumped his chassis into the ocean before we ever got to see it, man… It’s a conspiracy!” Says Fillmore with an interesting New York accent.

    Fade to a highly gadgeted Mater barking orders to a chopper full of elite soldiers over a remote corner of Packerstan…

  • kdthomas says:

    Mater the Terminator: Mater goes after anyone that tries stealing catalytic converters.

  • jezter says:


    “High Wire Mater”

    Mater ran away and joined the circus. During that time he rode around on a circus train going from town to town. In the circus he learned how to be shot out of a cannon (hence Mater the Greater), be a clown (best part about it), clean up after Tractors and other “animals”, and even became the main high wire and trapeze act, without the net and dressed as a clown. His partner ends up being… well you guess right… McQueen.

  • Monica says:


    Indiana Mater “Raiders of the Lost Parts” where Mater travels the world to discover treasures from ancient civilizations. I can just imagine Mater and McQueen dodging all the booby traps with Mater using his towhook as his whip.

  • John says:

    Mater the Raider

    Scene opens in Doc’s garage, Doc is cursing the parts delivery truck being late, Lightning and Mater are looking on. The truck arrives, a blue truck that looks suspiciously like the Pizza Planet truck… “finally that carburettor I’ve been waiting for”, says Doc. “Shoot” says Mater, I used to be a parts delivery truck. “Now that I believe!” says Lightning. “Yep”, says Mater, “I was in the Amazon jungle being chased by a native tribe of pitties armed with blow guns when I suddenly fell through a hole into the lost kingdom of the Pontiac Aztecs…

    McQueen “No way”
    Mater “You was there too”


  • aaaf317 says:

    Contest Entry

    Mater rides the Rails – Mater is a train who learns to ride the rails

  • 4343markm says:

    contest entry

    instaed of racing in england and europe they could go all thru the us. imagine all the diiferent kinds of cars there could be to collect. by by pocket book.

    or Mater in the Bandit if its easier. =D

  • kelskars says:

    Cars in space! LMQ and Mater travel to planets near and far!!!

  • OG Style says:

    Contest Entry

    My son would love these.

  • danrio says:

    Contest entry

    Pirate Mater as Captain Jack Sparetire in “Pickups of the Caribbean”.

  • sodabear says:

    Contest entry:

    “Conspiracy Theory Mater”
    After Lightning McQueen wins his 4th Piston Cup, Mater races to prove McQueen’s birth certificate is legit after Chick’s camp starts a smear campaign against him.

  • Stig McQueen says:

    Contest Entry

    “Car Wars”


    Luke McQueen
    Darth Mater
    Princess Leia Carerra
    Artoo Guidoo
    Doc Kenobi
    Chick Solo
    …and the Screaming Banshee as Chewbacca!

    Sample dialogue:

    Mater: “Y’know, I used to be a Jedi once; it was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…”

    Darth Mater (to Luke McQueen): “Old Doc never told you what happened to your father.”

    Luke McQueen: “He told me enough! He told me you wrecked him!”

    Darth Mater: “No, Luke — (voice changes to regular Mater voice) I’m yer daddy!”

    Luke McQueen: “Noooooooo!!!!!!!”

    McQueen: “Mater, that did not happen!”

    Luigi (to Guido): “Fine-a! You go that-a way! This-a way is=a much easier! You’ll-a be malfunctioning-a within a day!”

    Fade out

  • Lorri says:

    Contest Entry
    Matersaurus and LmQ go back to prehistoric times

  • chuki_mama says:

    Contest Entry:


    “McQueen, don’t make me angry… You wouldn’t like me when I am angry.”

  • Blake says:

    Contest entry:

    Mater Tall Tales: Goes to Disneyland!

  • John in Missouri says:


    “British Invasion Mater”

    Like Doc Hudson, Mater kept a secret from the rest of the Radiator Springs gang. That secret: he was the original Fifth Beetle during the British Invasion! No, not the British Invasion where Paul Revere went thru town ringing bells so the British wouldn’t take our arms, I’m talking about the Rock and Roll British Invasion. Mater and the other four Beetles traveled from their home in Lincolnpool, England to play a small club in Hammburg, Germany, where they quickly became the main attraction. It was here that TV show host Ed Studebaker first saw them and invited them to America. However, Mater missed the flight and a chance at Stardom. However, his bandmate Paul McCadillac later wrote a song in his honor called “Mater I’m Amazed”.

  • Micky says:

    Mater Tall Tale:

    “The Junkers” (take off on “The Pickers”) Frankie Mater and Mikey McQueen travel the backroads of America looking for rusty gold “car parts”. They restore Cars one piece at a time 🙂

  • bobbyjack says:

    Mater and McQueen are rolling north on Las Vegas Boulevard when they spot Dex the Promoter rolling south trailed closely by Mia, Tia, and a few of the Dinoco showgirls. McQueen says, “Wow, look how much attention that guy gets with all the ladies!”
    Mater looks over at his friend and replies, “Well shoo-oot, I used to be a pimp…”

  • buckland-blowouts says:

    Sweetest contest ever!!! That Pirate dad… He really is a good egg ain’t he!!! ARRRR!!!

  • NascarFan says:

    Contest entry:

    Mater Tall Tales: a “Hot Rod Shop Build Series”

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